Alone and my Buddy Alon

This one is about the value of being alone. And my buddy, Alon.

Alone.

I’ve spent much of the past year alone. Physically alone. For anyone who’s gone through loss—whether it’s death, divorce, or just a sudden, deafening silence in your life —it’s a jarring, unnerving reality. Aloneness seems to arrive unwelcome, unannounced, and with a surprisingly selfish attitude.

I’ve learned a few things in the quiet. Or rather, some wise people told me things that I have to repeat to myself like a mantra so I don't accidentally start a deep conversation with my toaster.

One of those things is Acceptance. Specifically, Radical Acceptance.

It sounds fancy, but it just means looking at the mess and not trying to move the furniture. You don’t try to rearrange the house before a guest comes over. You don’t try to edit your story so it sounds more "inspiring" for the 'gram. You just… accept.

That doesn’t mean you need to tell everyone everything. But if you’re in a season of being alone—maybe feeling misunderstood or just out of sync—acceptance is the first place to start.

A lot of people fight being alone. And to be clear: I’m not talking about loneliness. That’s a different, much more dangerous animal. (Friends and community are necessary; more on that in the future.)

I’m talking about going to bed alone. Waking up alone. Being alone in your perspective. Being bored. Accepting that you are bored. Being bored enough to have intrusive thoughts about whether you could actually survive a fight with a cougar.

I’m talking about being bored enough to randomly burst out singing, or crying, or a weird, wet-sounding hybrid of both.

And then comes the best part: looking at yourself in the mirror after you’re finished sing-crying and saying, “This is my life. I accept it.”

What does acceptance look like in your life? Is it sitting still—wherever that is for you—or are you running around trying to plug into the noise because the silence feels too uncomfortable?

Alon.

Alon is my neighbor. He’s an architect, he’s originally from Israel, and he makes a hummus that could probably achieve world peace if, dammit, someone would just give him—and peace—a chance.

[Link: Listen to my conversation with Alon here]

TLDR / TLDL

Alon on:

Alon on:

Alon on:

What’s the coolest realization you’ve had when you’ve accepted something lately? Or what’s the most random thing you did when you were bored?